NEVER UNDERSTIMATE YOUR VALUE

When I first saw this picture, I laughed out loud, because the “Special Deal” doesn’t offer any additional value! Normally when I think of value, I think of cutting coupons, shopping sales and saving on shipping costs. Yet there's also another value that didn't enter my awareness until yesterday afternoon.

I had just finished having a preventative procedure at the hospital. The hospital is always buzzing with activity - anxious grandparents rushing to see their grand babies for the first time, hospital maintenance workers on ladders replacing broken light bulbs, employees in blue colored scrubs and shower caps dragging themselves out of the cafeteria to finish out the second half of the work day and volunteers in their raspberry colored vests greeting hospital visitors with a smile, a quick answer and a goodbye wave. Yet there was something else I experienced while walking through the hospital.

There's a value placed on being healthy. Why not? It should be something we all aim to achieve. However, I've always felt less of a person - someone with less value than others - because of my weight. Moreover I felt like my perceived "value" was immediately evident to others the minute they saw me and they thought the same way about me and my worth.

Despite losing 30 pounds with a lot more to go, I realize I have as much worth as the healthiest, fittest person. I need to let go of the irrational thought that I have less worth than my thinnest counterparts. Don't get me wrong, there's GREAT value in losing weight - I'm excited to experience a healthier future with my family and friends - but who I am as a person isn't dependent on the numbers of a scale. Who I am isn't dependent on other's perceptions of me. Who I am isn't dependent on my waist size! Keeping that in mind will help me overcome the shame and insecurities I feel about being overweight.

I'm always looking for a special deal - something with extra value - little did I realize we can all find that within ourselves!

Value health. Value your body. Value your relationships. Value your life. Yet remember the one who values you the most - unconditionally - and that's God.

CELEBRATE YOURSELF. CELEBRATE YOUR BODY!

I think many, many women (and men) grew up with poor body image. It's quite understandable given the societal influence that girls are exposed to at such an early age. Yet isn't this something we should grow out of? Wouldn't adult logic and reason take the forefront as grown women accept themselves and their bodies? Unfortunately not. The effects linger long after.....

I wanted to talk about body image because much of the time spent exercising and losing weight involves an emphasis on the body - shape, weight, strength, conditioning. As someone who grew up with a poor body image, it can be difficult to have an unusual amount of focus on my body. Growing up I can remember being teased. I specifically remember a group teasing me by calling me a "Hungry Hungry Hippo" and singing the commercial for the game. I was teased about my body, my hair, my clothing style and anything else other school kids could find to pick on me. I would bike to the pharmacy and buy diet pills and hope they would perform magic to make me thin, beautiful and acceptable to others. Other times I would eat nothing and journal in my diary the number of days I had successfully gone without food. And I remember as a 5th grader, a fellow classmate came up to me, confessed she had a conversation with her mom about me and her mom clearly stated that one day I would be beautiful despite the teasing. I was shocked - first of all that she would tell me - and secondly that an adult could try to predict a future that seemed to impossible to me! Yet above all of this - I was never overweight to begin with! The teasing in addition to other factors led to a negative body image.

What is body image?

• How you see yourself in the mirror or your mind.
• What you believe about your own appearance.
• How you feel about the size, height, shape and weight of your body
• How you sense and control your body as you move...i.e. how you feel IN your body.

What is negative body image?

• A distorted perception of your shape.
• You are convinced that only other people are attractive and that your body size or shape is a sign of personal failure.
• You feel ashamed, self-conscious and anxious about your body.
• You feel uncomfortable and awkward in your body.

What is positive body image?

• A clear, true perception of your shape.
• You celebrate and appreciate your natural body shape and understand that a person's physical appearance says very little about their character and value as a person.
• You feel proud and accepting of your unique body and refuse to spend an unreasonable amount of time worrying about food, weight and calories.
• You feel comfortable and confident in your body.

Did you know that people with negative body image have a greater likelihood of developing an eating disorder? I clearly remember my friend Paula in high school. She had an eating disorder which she tried to hide from her friends and family. She was bulemic. At the time I had no idea there was even a term for the abuse she was inflicting on her body.

Did you know that people with a negative body image have a great likelihood of suffering from feelings of depression, isolation, low self-esteem and obsessions with weight loss?

With all of this being said, this will be very difficult for me but I would like to "celebrate" the parts of my body that I actually like!! It may only be a tiny freckle or an unusal spot no one can even see - but it's a step in the right direction! Besides, one celebration deserves another so please celebrate your body by exclaiming what parts you like as well!!!!

I celebrate the following parts of my body (this is so weird! lol) My eyes, my hair, my ankles, my dimples, the freckle by my right hip, my strength....I can't do anymore but it's a start!

Please celebrate yourself as you celebrate your body!!

Ummm.....don't ask. ;)

HELLO?!?! IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE?

Sometimes it feels like I'm talking to myself. Wish we could take a poll and see who is actually reading this blog. I have to admit, it's fun creating the post and the images. It's a nice distraction from food! lol ;) Seriously though...is there anybody out there?? It's been so quiet lately!! (cricket noises)

CAN OF WHOOP ASS!

Let me give you a little advice. Never let your personal trainer know you've gained weight. If you do, you've just given him a green light to kick your ass for the next hour! That's what happened to me tonight. I was so scared I was going to throw up. It was awful!

Even tonight I'm really achy in my legs and upper body. I truly thought my legs were going to give out on me during my workout. They just burned so badly!

Ok...just for fun....let's see if I can re-create the entire workout. Not that I want to relive it again (shudder) but I want you to know how difficult it was!






Warm up: 10 minutes on treadmill at a faster than normal pace on an incline.

Session: 1 minute punching the heavy bag plus 15 kicks to the bag on each leg - repeat 4 times
Step down lunges - 2o on each leg
Slam a heavy ball from over my head to the ground repeatedly for 30 seconds x 4
Side step squats - 2o on each leg
Squat against a wall and raise a heavy ball over my head repeatedly
Exercise ball w/ sand - rotate it back and forth in front of you for 30 seconds x 4
Bench press 65 pounds for 45 seconds

Cool down: fast walk on the treadmill

My gosh! It doesn't look as bad in writing as it felt in person!! Chad said he's going to open a whole bottle of whoop ass on Monday. Great. Can't wait. *me rolling my eyes* ;)

TRUE CONFESSIONS

*Note: This posting is to show you that I'm human and, like you, I'm bound to make mistakes and lose focus on my path to getting healthy and fit! It's also to prove to you that just exercise alone isn't enough to lose weight. You must do it all! So learn from my mistakes, please!*

I feel like I'm at a confessional booth and about to bare my current poor eating habits to all! I'm fully expecting my penance and I accept whatever comes my way because I've been bad!! Bad! Give me 40 push-ups, 100 lunges, forbid me to eat anything bad....I will obey because I owe it to myself, my family and my friends to do a better job with my healthy lifestyle!

I gained 4.5 pounds recently and here are all the reasons why!

1. Diet Coke - I swear, it'll kill me one way or the other! When I'm exhausted, have a lot of work to do or just need something to get me going, I crave diet coke! I quit diet coke not that long ago and I can certainly do it. I'm just mentally dependent on it because I don't think I can get through a difficult day without it! All are excuses! Diet sodas have been shown to cause weight gain. It's not worth it! I just need to slow down and get to bed early. Then I won't need the caffeine to keep me going during the day!

2. Easter - I ate way too many yummy things at Easter. Matt's mom makes the BEST potato salad and I accepted her offer to bring a large container home with me. (what a mistake!) Plus we bought some Easter candy for Katie and who ended up eating half of it? ME!

3. Eating Take Out - We've been lazy. Well, that's not entirely true! We're far from lazy when it comes to our lifestyle. All three of us are on the go and I personally have too much going on at one time. But...I have to admit we've been lazy when it comes to preparing healthy foods at home. When you're tired, it seems so easy to just order out from Wild Wings, Amigos, Subway, Jade Garden.... After a while the extra calories take a toll on the scale as well as the bank account.

4. Food Journal - I stopped documenting my food in the food journal for nearly 4 weeks. BIG MISTAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I believe it's what started the domino effect. The very first thing I'm doing is documenting my food once again.

5. Grocery Shopping - Again, maybe it's laziness on my part (but if anyone knows me, they know how busy I really am!) but Matt's been doing the grocery shopping lately. He does a great job, don't get me wrong. But there's something about not participating in the shopping that leaves me feeling lost when it comes to making dinners and pre-planning my food for the week. There's nothing I really want that's healthy (Matt picks up what he think I'll like and he really tries!) so there again, it's a call to Amigos for dinner!!! Therefore, I need to go grocery shopping and find time to do that some how!

6. Cardio - I've been going in for extra cardio on my "off" days during the past two weeks. I've enjoyed it and have seen an improvement in my endurance. However, when left to my own devices for cardio on the weekends, I've completely run out of ideas. I don't like biking. Walking around the neighborhood is boring. My inlaw's pool is too cold at the moment. I need some cardio ideas because I'm burnt out on what I have available at home. The end result is I end up doing nothing for cardio. Bad!!

What I am doing well...

1. Attending all my training sessions and adding more cardio at the studio on my off days.
2. Taking my medication, supplements and vitamins regularly.
3. Getting a decent amount of sleep every night.
4. Trying to work harder in my training sessions and not give up so quickly or frequently.
5. I enjoy the exercise equipment in the garage and will continue to use it. (it's mostly strength exercises)
6. I am continuing this blog and reaching out to people for support plus encouraging others with their own healthy lifestyles.
7. I'm starting a women's self defense course next week! I'm super psyched about it!

Chad has given me two weeks to get beneath a pivotal point on the scale - which means I need to lose 9 pounds. I can do that!! It's more of a mental challenge than a physical one. But I can do it!

So that's my confessional. I've laid it all out on the line and told you everything that's going on with me!

My plan:

1. Start journaling my daily food intake again!
2. Stop the diet coke (again!)
3. Stop ordering out so frequently. We can choose one night a week to do that but that's it.
4. Call my family for support again!
5. Find a source of cardio I can enjoy from home.
6. Go grocery shopping with Matt.
7. Avoid all major holiday foods!
8. Attend all my training sessions (even on my off days) and participate in the self defense classes.

Please help me get back on track! It's crucial to me and my family!!

I AM SO STUCK RIGHT NOW!

Ok....so I'm stuck right now. I've been working out 5-6 days a week, training with Chad, doing extra interval training on the treadmill, taking my vitamins and supplements and NOTHING on the scale. I mean it hasn't budged a single pound in either direction! What is going on?!?!

In the past the illogical side of my brain would tell me to give up, that I'm not someone who can lose weight because (insert reason here:__________) and the binge eating would start all over again! But today it's different. When your car isn't working properly you need to fine tune the engine. That's exactly what I'm proposing with my fitness and healthy diet...something may be "off" so let's evaluate my program and see where I can improve! Here are some thoughts on how you can fine-tune your fitness and healthy eating regimen!

1. Eat More - Weigh Less! - Sounds counter-intuitive, doesn't it? One thing Chad has taught me is your metabolism needs to be fed every 3 hours to keep it revved up throughout the day. Feeding your body healthy snacks (such as a lean protein and whole grain carb or produce) between meals and having small but frequent meals is the best way to keep your metabolism up.

2. Don't guess portion sizes. One of the biggest mistakes I make is guessing the size of my food portions. It honestly does work to use smaller dishes! I have a small bowl that I use for my cereal in the mornings. Filling that bowl up makes it seem like I'm eating a lot of cereal but I'm not! I also use a small salad plate for my meals. It really does work!

3. Plan your snacks! - At the start of every week I make sure I have plenty of snacks on hand and prepared to get me through the week. Sometimes it's as easy as washing grapes and berries and placing them in air-tight containers. Other times I'm washing celery so it's ready for peanut butter on the run. I also really enjoy Kashi TLC crackers and provolone cheese. Another quick snack is Dannon Lite and Fit yogurt with wheat germ. Yummy!!

4. Don't leave home without a few snacks! - There's nothing worse than having hunger pangs and having nothing with you! It's difficult to avoid the vending machines and fast food restaurants for a quick fix. But with a little pre-planning you can avoid these temptations and bring snacks with you! I usually stash in my purse an organic snack bar (I like the Bora Bora wellness bar) in my purse or car. Having nuts, a banana or even a peanut butter and whole wheat bread sandwich is a nice option to some of the horrible fast food mistakes you can make during your day!

5. Read the labels! - Always read the fine print on the packaging and never assume that the large print on the front of the box is the "truth". Avoid food with trans fat, saturated fats and large amounts of sugar. Seek out foods that are high in protein and high in whole grain fibers. Don't buy into the snacks that are 100 calories. If you read the ingredients and the nutritional information, you'll realize that you are ingesting 100 calories of yummy tasting but unhealthy processed foods!

6. Don't skip meals - Keep your body out of starvation mode by selecting a healthy food choice every 3 hours. Eat something healthy within 30 minutes of waking up. Make sure you eat breakfast!

7. Don't eat more because you exercised - this is one of my biggest cognitive errors when it comes to weight loss! Psychologically I think that I just put in an awesome workout so if I eat more or unhealthier than normal, it will balance out. But why would you want to "balance out" your food intake and workout? How quickly a workout can be ruined by an unhealthy meal! Why exert all that effort and pain only to sabotage yourself with a poor food choice? (I'm talking to myself here! lol) Make the most out of your time, effort and energy expended during your workouts by continuing your healthy eating both before and after your exercise routine!

8. Don't skimp on sleep - One thing I read recently on a fitness blog is this... "TRAIN BIG, EAT BIG AND REST BIG". We all know about training and eating healthy but did you know that sleep is a big part of that equation as well? I recently read that a Columbia University research team found that people who got less than 7 hours of sleep a night were 23% more likely to be obese. They concluded that sleep deprivation seems to throw off the hormones that keep our appetites in check.

9. Don't weigh yourself obsessively - Another fault of mine! It's very easy to rely on the scale as THE measurement of your progress. But your weight can fluctuate from day to day - even hour to hour! And it's not the best gauge of your health nor your fitness. Monitoring your clothing size is a better gauge for how you are doing. Keep your attention focused on your health versus a number on the scale! In fact, Chad always tells me to throw out my scale! But I can't! :)

10. Don't say you are on a diet! - The word diet carries many connotations that echo thoughts of a diet being a temporary phase and not a lifestyle change. Think of your new eating style - not as a diet - but a healthy behavioral change that you will continue for the rest of your life!

When starting a new healthy change in your life, it can be overwhelming at all the things to "do" and "don't do". Just select a few changes to implement now into your lifestyle and you'll already be on your way!

Out of the 10 options above, which are the ones you think you can start today and why?

Or if you are already on the path towards a healthier lifestyle, what do you need to improve on? I know for me, I need to improve on the thought that I can eat more because I worked out, sleep more plus I need to avoid the scale! How about you?

"A WOMAN IS NOT OLD UNTIL REGRETS TAKE THE PLACE OF DREAMS".

Guess what? I have some special news to report! Matt and I have decided not to abandon our desire for a biological baby and we're going to try again! And it's all because of Chad at Shaping Concepts (he's my personal trainer and friend) because he's given me the confidence to know a) I can lose weight, b) I can get healthy and fit, c) and, most importantly, I can accomplish ANYTHING that I put my mind to! Absolutely anything!

I'm starting a new medication today and with the continued weight loss, fitness and healthy diet, I truly hope and believe God has great plans for our family. I have so much hope like I've never experienced before! And, if I don't try then I'll always wonder what if........So thanks to Chad and my family we have a new direction in life! :)

Pretty cool, huh?

CELEBRATE!

This is my 75th post!! Wow! I can't believe it. :)

NO...I'M NOT PREGNANT!

Pregnancy has absolutely nothing to do with my blog yet I couldn't help but share my observations at the doctor's office this morning.

As I sat in the waiting room of my doctor's office wearing my oversized UNH t-shirt and yoga pants, I couldn't help but notice the eye contact the older women were making with me. They had this *knowing* smile as if gently saying with their sparkling eyes "how lovely that you are pregnant!". No...I'm not pregnant! I'd like to be....and it's rather cute if they think I'm pregnant at a women's doctor's office...but NO....I'm overweight and I have a plump belly! Not to be confused with a pregnant belly! At least they didn't say anything to me....phew!

DON'T BE ENTICED BY THE PEEPS!

Second only to Halloween, Easter is one of the worst times of year for candy consumption! And when you have a little one around the house it's difficult not to have some sort of candy from the Easter Bunny! Unfortunately, the Easter Bunny shops early therefore candy is hidden quite plentifully around the house.

The only way I know to counteract the urge to overindulge in Easter candy is to illuminate the facts about the calories involved!

Here are the top 8 worst Easter candies! (naturally a few on this list are my favorite!)

1. PEEPS - A few of these fluffy, sugar-filled treats can add up quickly. Go through a row of four bunnies and you're at 130 calories. Peeps are fat-free but do weigh in heavy on the carb count--each little rabbit has 8 grams of sugar alone, adding up to 32 grams in a serving of four.

2. JELLY BEANS - These can be your worst foe or your best friend in the Easter basket, depending on how many you eat. Each individual bean is pretty low in calorie count, with usually around 5 or 6 calories, but munching through a handful or worse, an entire bagful, of Jelly Bellys adds up quickly. The recommended 35-bean serving comes in at 140 calories from 37 grams of sugar. To avoid jelly-bean overdose, it's probably best to grab a handful and then keep the Easter basket out of reach.

3. CADBURY CHOCOLATE EGGS - These eggs may look tiny, but their calorie count is anything but. A handful of 12 eggs comes with 190 calories and 8 grams of fat. You might want to skip over these high-cal eggs if you come across them on the hunt.

4. CADBURY CREAM EGG - It's possibly the quintessential Easter treat, but most people won't be surprised to find out that the creamy egg packs in the calories. The 1.2-ounce egg comes with 150 calories, 5 grams of fat and 25 grams of carbs. If you're looking for an excuse to indulge, there is a slight silver lining: the tasty milk chocolate comes with 40mg of calcium, which is about 5 percent of the recommended daily value. :)

5. REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER EGG - This egg slightly edges out its creme-filled rival in the unhealthy Easter-egg competition. All three varieties of the Reese's egg--milk chocolate, fudge and white chocolate--have a calorie count of 180. The fat content weighs in around 10 grams, double that of the Cadbury Creme Egg, with the white-chocolate egg the worst, at 11 grams. Stick to the traditional Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, which, though it lacks the festive Easter element, has nearly half the calories of its egg-shaped relatives.

6. LINDT CHOCOLATE CARROTS - In a sea of eggs and bunnies, chocolate carrots are one of the more unusual Easter candy options. Sadly, they have little nutritional value in common with their vegetable counterparts: a box of four carrot-shaped chocolates has 210 calories.

7. HERSHEY'S HOLLOW MILK CHOCOLATE EGG - This might come as the biggest surprise: one hollow Hershey's egg (4.65 ounces) has more than three times as many calories as the Cadbury Creme Egg. The shell alone has 570 calories. Start munching on the four Hershey's kisses included inside and you're up to a whooping 660 calories and 41 grams of fat. This may be one of the few Easter offerings that makes a Reese's Peanut Butter Egg look like health food.

8. LARGE CHOCOLATE BUNNY - Not surprisingly, the bunny reigns as king when it comes to Easter calories. But the calorie count may still raise a few eyebrows: the average seven-ounce rabbit clocks an impressive 1,050 calories. Smaller bunnies are better--rabbits of the one-ounce variety only rack up 140 calories.

I HAD A DATE LAST NIGHT.....

I had a date last night. Anxious? Yes. Nervous? Not really. Mentally I prepared myself for a tough meeting but once I warmed up I knew it would be alright.

I had no idea what to wear and managed to still feel self conscious in what I wore. I tried not to look in the mirror during the entire date but sometimes it couldn't be helped.

Ok..I can't keep going with this any more! It's getting too silly!!!! I had a "date" with the treadmill last night!! I'm trying to make this a regular date - Tuesday and Thursday nights during my "off" time from my regular workouts.

I did interval training (running for 1 minute, walking fast for 1 minute, running for 1 minute..etc) on the treadmill for 60 minutes!!!! I was SO PROUD of myself! I could've kept going but a) I was getting pretty bored and tired of avoiding myself in the mirror in front of me) and b) my legs were worn out and I didn't want to fall off the treadmill.

It's funny because I was never winded during the entire workout but my body was fatigued. My insides could keep going (if that makes sense) but my outer body was finished. Too bad because I really think I could've gone another 30 minutes!

Also, I've noticed an increase, not just in time, but in the pace of my treadmill workouts. When I first started my "run" was at a 3.5 pace and that was enough for me. Now I'm at 4.8 run and I could easily get over 5.0 if I really wanted to push it.

Don't get me wrong - I'm pretty sore!!!!! But it was worth it! And to hear Laura and Chad tell me I did a good job on the treadmill meant the WORLD to me! I swear, I smiled the rest of the evening and probably in my sleep! :)

SCUBA SKIN TIGHT

Ok...so I'm buying into this whole idea of exercising, losing weight and feeling sexy and fit in a bathing suit. It sounds plausible....why not? With that in mind I decided to buy a new bathing suit since I've lost 30 pounds at Shaping Concepts. Honestly, I can't remember the last time I bought a bathing suit so it was a treat for me!

Around dinner time the UPS man arrives at our house and drops off the box from Lands End. I was so excited!!!!! I bought two bathing suits (always smart to buy two in case you absolutely hate one of them) and fell in love with the second bathing suit. It's cute...it has a v-neck top, a built in skirt and it's navy blue with small white polka dots. You can wear it with or without the straps.

But let me tell you something.....that bathing suit was such a struggle to put on!!! I felt like I was squeezing into a tight scuba diving suit and it's just as thick! All the excitement about exercising, losing weight and feeling sexy and fit in a bathing suit quickly diminished as I then tried to squeeze out of that scuba bathing suit!

Well, maybe when I lose another 30 pounds it will fit differently. Until then I will pretend it's a smaller size and be happy I can squeeze into it! Plus it still looks kinda cute! :)

SINK OR SWIM....

Mentally I'm not sure where I'm at lately. I've been distracted by other things going on around me. I've been overworking and unable to relax. And I've noticed that I'm self-sabotaging my diet at times.

I think I'm fearful of getting past a milestone in terms of my weight. For me, being skinny means that I'm unsafe therefore being overweight keeps me "safe". Even if my idea of safety sounds illogical, it has kept me safe for many years. How can you possibly let go of that safety net?

It reminds me of the Red Cross swimming lessons I took at a lake when my brothers and I were younger. Man, I certainly had a strong connection with that kickboard! It kept me safe, afloat and able to return back to the beach in a pinch. Anyone who even suggested I drop the kickboard and swim on my own was crazy! Why would I do that? I'd certainly drown, some gross, slimey lake creature would grab my legs and pull me under or I would be forced to do the doggie paddle and embarrass myself in front of my brothers. When you've used that safety net for so long, it's difficult to let go. How do you trust in the process (whether swimming or otherwise) that it's ok to tread water on your own? How can you trust that nothing bad will happen, that you are strong enough to swim to shore if necessary and you know that slimey lake creatures don't actually exist in the real world?

I'm not really sure I have the answer to any of these questions. All I can do is keep paddling with my feet and hope that one day I can drop the kickboard, use my arms and keep myself afloat with more confidence than I have at the moment!

3x - 2x - 1x = ?

No, this isn't a lesson in algebra but a lesson in clothing sizes! I've always preferred my t-shirts to be a little big and comfy on me therefore I usually purchase a size 3x shirt. Yet I've found that since I've lost weight my "big comfy shirt" is now a size 2x and if necessary I can wear a 1x. I'm really excited about that because it's another sign that I'm losing weight. And I'm even more excited that there are smaller sizes for me on the horizon!! Yay!

Yet coupled with that today, Katie made a remark that surprised me! She had her head on my stomach and said that I'm going to have a baby! Oh my gosh! I made her promise not to tell anyone. I can just hear the rumors going around that I'm pregnant! Unless she knows how to predict the future, I think she was referring to the size of my stomach!! Argh! lol

MY FAVORITE QUOTE

I don't know about you but I find inspiration in quotes. This has always been one of my favorite inspirational quotes.

"Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers, but to be fearless in facing them. Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain, but for the heart to conquer it". - Rabindranath Tagore

For me, this quote reminds me that we are stronger than any pain or any fear that we face in life. No matter what the pain, we can endure it. Regardless of the fear, we can confront it. It's difficult to remember this latent strength when we are in the midst of difficulties but it's there and we only need to call upon it for courage! And for me and my family that strength comes from God because without him we wouldn't have any of this strength.

What is YOUR favorite quote or verse?

KATIE IS SICK....AGAIN!

And you know what THAT means! Historically I get sick when she gets sick! I'm taking pre-emptive measures against these germs by doing some new and different things! First of all, I'm taking Chad's ImmunoGuard which is proported to aid in keeping people well. Then I'm taking a probiotic drink every morning. Plus I'm not letting her cough near me, hold my hand or kiss me if she's sick. And I'm getting extra sleep! If I get sick again, I think I'll drown myself in Nyquil....or Vicks VapoRub!

WEIGHT A MINUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know what got into Chad but yesterday was quite interesting during our workout!! See this rack of weights? I had to move the two upper racks all over the gym a pair at a time. I believe the weights ranged from 12 - 40 (or 45?) pounds. I moved them 3 times!! I couldn't believe he had me hauling these things all over the place!!!! Plus I did countless lunges up and down the studio and a million or more push-ups. I'm a bit sore today although I won't admit it to Chad.....but it was fun and something different. Besides, I didn't have to do any squats!!! That's the best! :)

I JUST "SCALED" MYSELF

I honestly try not to weigh at home very often. It's not healthy for me (mentally) to do that but every once in a while I just have a strong desire to know where I'm at...if I'm not losing weight then I might need to pay more close attention to my diet.

So I drag the dusty ol' scale out of the depths of my closet. After I weighed myself, Katie was so excited that she yelled (jumping up and down) "I want to scale myself, tooooooooooo!!!" Little does she realize that this excitement will quickly fade once she becomes a teenager! :) Katie asked if I was happy with the scale and I said yes....that each day I become more and more healthy and it makes me very happy. She smiled and said she was happy, too.

I was so relieved to see that the scale moved down further - at last. Ever since losing weight from the pneumonia I knew my metabolism must've been off. I hardly ate! So it's a huge relief to begin to lose weight again!! I won't officially post a loss until I get on Chad's scale...but it's a few more pounds lost.

Speaking of losing pounds, Chad is running a "Biggest Loser" contest at Shaping Concepts. Along with a dozen or so people, I'm competing for the greatest amount of weight lost during a specific time period. So far I'm not meeting my own expectations for this contest. In fact, I had hoped to win but I'm fearful I may have lost a bit of momentum. But I have just over 2 weeks left in the contest. If I can step it up...maybe I can still win!!!! The prize is 8 free sessions which comes out to $280.

Also (I'm really talkative today!!), I can feel myself getting so much stronger!!!!!!!!
I can really feel it! It's the coolest thing. It's the BEST!!! And I received the absolute nicest comment from one of Chad's clients yesterday. He's noticing that my hard work is paying off and it shows. That movitates me even MORE to work hard!!

(Don't pay attention to the fact that I have no top on in this picture! Scary picture, huh?? lol)

What excites you the most about exercise, health and nutrition? When was the last time you were at your peak conditioning? Do you think you can achieve that result again? If so, how do you plan to do it? X_____________________??? :)

TO MEASURE OR NOT TO MEASURE.....

I've been keeping a small chart of body measurements since the beginning of my choice to lose weight and become healthy.

I decided to measure myself again yesterday and found mixed results compared to the last time I measured. However if you look at the bigger picture there is definitely a change in my body size. Here are the results:




January 2nd compared to March 28

Waist size: remained the same (not a good start!)
Chest size: remained the same (ok...it'll get better...)
L Bicep: - .5 inches
R Bicep: remained the same
L Thigh: -5 inches!!!
R Thigh: -1 inch (ok so my legs are now lopsided! lol)
Neck: - 1 inch
Forearms: - .5 inches
Hips: - 3 inches (yay!)
R: Calf: + .5 inches
L: Calf: + .5 inches (ok so at least they are symmetrical!)
BMI: - 5.6 points
Weight: Still hovering at 30 pounds lost

Overall I am very pleased especially with the weight, BMI and hips! I'll keep tracking my measurements over time and see how they compare. But for now, I'm putting the tape measure away. It can be as addicting as stepping on the scale!

COUNTING POUNDS - LESSONS TO WEIGH BY

Over the past few months I've had many lessons about exercise and weight loss that I've learned at Shaping Concepts. Some lessons I will forever remember -both the good & bad lessons! I'm continuing that by adding more lessons to my blog. (I'm not sure if anyone is reading my blog..I think I'm talking to myself! lol But that's totally ok....I'm enjoying the process of writing anyway!)

--IF YOUR DOG HATES EXERCISE THERE'S A REASON FOR THAT!

Our 8 month old dachshund, Noah, (seen here at 4 months old) has always hated exercise. I think that's why I was drawn to him as a puppy. ;) He loves short intervals of play time and he's actually pretty athletic but he detests going around the neighborhood on a leash. I'm the same way! lol Despite his resistance to exercise I continue to bring him on walks. He made it known in a different way how much he hates our exercise time together.

It was a really gorgeous evening outside and I knew I needed my exercise so Matt and I took both dogs (Milo - the exerciser!) and Noah (the exercise detester) around the 'hood. Sporadically we would take short bursts and run with Noah but the remainder of the time we just walked. It was a great walk and I really enjoyed it! After several laps, Milo was still anxious to go around the neighborhood but Noah was done. In fact, he was done after the first steps of the walk! So we go inside, give the dogs water and I crate Noah. Noah made it known how much he protested our walks by throwing up all over his crate. Nice!! It was so disgusting!! Ew!

Next time I will have to gradually build up Noah to become an endurance walker but for now I choose to walk alone!

Ok so I definitely woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning! I mean, what the heck? I can't even get this underlining to stop under my text! I don't know what's wrong with me but I'm REALLY cranky and I'm never like this.

I have a wicked hectic day today which is rather daunting. Too many appointments, too long of a day and not enough sleep or energy to go with it. Wish me luck. :(

Ok, so I'm a little too tired this morning to be excited about anything at all. However, if I DID have the energy I would be thrilled to tell you about my workout yesterday!!!!!!

Much of exercise (and life!) - the pain, endurance, motivation etc. seem to be a mental challenge rather than physical. I've been focusing on overcoming the mental aspects of my workouts! Here is what I've been implementing to accomplish this goal:

1. The most challenging part of my workout is with Chad. I keep reminding myself that it's only 30 MINUTES!!! Anyone can endure anything for 30 minutes...or, nearly anything. Therefore I mentally prepare myself for that specific period of time.

2. I visualize myself having a strong workout! I take a few quiet and still moments in my car or during my warm-up on the treadmill and I try to picture myself giving everything I have with each exercise, finishing all my reps of each exercise without stopping and mentally minimizing the pain from exerting myself with the exercises. If for some reason there is a complete, unanticipated change in my workout (like going outside to do stairs!! ahem....Chad!), then I'm all thrown off! :)

3. I wear something that I believe will give me strength. It can anything from a special t-shirt, a bracelet or ring and even a necklace. I wear an old Catholic pendant necklace that was my Dad's when he was in the Air Force. It's about as old as I am! (and that's wicked old! lol) It looks like this...(see image). It helps because I know when I'm struggling all alone he's there to encourage me in his own way at that very moment. He's always had more confidence in me than I could ever have in myself. (ok..no crying in this blog!!) Plus it's a useful reminder to all that if I pass out or nearly die from a workout then someone at Shaping Concepts can call a priest for me as noted on the back of the pendant. (lol....just kidding!!!!!)

It works for me! And I'm quite sure any variation of this could benefit you as well! Give it a try!!

Additionally, I was so proud of myself last night! After a wicked weekend of eating (my worst in 3 months!) I really wanted to push myself at Shaping Concepts yesterday. Chad and I had a great workout together (I'm one step closer to doing push-ups on the ground which is exciting!). I put in 30 minutes doing cardio on the treadmill after my regular workout to "make up" for my bad eating weekend. When Chad and his wife left the building, I ran on the treadmill and completely soaked myself with sweat! It was awesome! (thus why I'm rather tired this morning) It was the best feeling - not only because I worked hard with cardio but I didn't need anyone else to coach or encourage me. (Gosh! Not that I don't need Chad! I'll probably always need him! lol But what I realized is that I CAN do it myself!) I exercised that hard because I wanted to do it!!!! That is so cool to me!!! When I was done my hair was so soaked underneath it was like someone took a glass of water and threw it at the back of my head! (ew...I know...but it's awesome, too!! lol)

I'd love to hear how you motivate yourself in life! What mental "tools" do you use to keep yourself focused, motivated, encouraged, etc.? How has that helped you reach your goals? Do you have any other recommendations that might help me reach my goals?

MY HOME GYM!

I've been slowly accumulating items for my home gym over the past year. I have nearly all that I want/need except for a couple of things such as moving our small TV into the garage!! ;) I did a video for you so you can see what it looks like! Hope you enjoy it!

H20Care - The #1 Nutritional Supplement

This video is a fun spoof on Chad's Advocare video. If you haven't seen it yet, here is the link to the "real" video! Click here

Just having fun with ya Chad. Katie and I had a blast making this video. What cracks me up the most is her face when she's doing the bicep curls with the 3lb weights. :)

DON'T LET ANYTHING DETER YOU FROM YOUR GOAL!

I could've easily given up on working out at Shaping Concepts. I've been sick on-and-off practically since my first workout and went from bronchitis to pneumonia in a matter of weeks. Never mind the fact that when I first started exercising I was sooooooooooo sore I could hardly move! It's been very difficult both physically and emotionally!

Last night was the first time back to the studio! I've been out for 2-3 weeks from the illnesses and I've definitely noticed a decline in my physical shape. I knew it wasn't going to be easy to go back. I mean, I could use being sick as an excuse and stop altogether, couldn't I? I also knew it's going to be difficult to get back into the shape I was in before I got sick. Yet I accept all these challenges because I refuse to let anything deter me from my goal of losing weight and becoming healthy.

I understand what it feels like to want to quit working out. I hurt as much as the next person and I have my own personal battles with losing weight and exercising. Yet quitting right now would be the absolute worst thing I could do. Quitting right now would mean giving up on my body and my future health. Quitting right now would mean a difficult future for me and my family. This is it for me - there's nothing else I can do to lose weight and I've tried and heard of everything! I've been told I can't do it without major surgery. I've been told I'll never be able to do this on my own (which is partly true....Chad is my coach and my family and friends are my biggest supporters!). Therefore quitting is not an option and it shouldn't be for you, either.

If you don't have the support you need in your life to achieve your goals - find them! They are there and willing to help! Just ask and you'll be surprised at the responses you receive. For me, the support has been overwhelming and what a blessing that is! You can try to do it alone but it's more effective as well as fun to have other support around you to encourage you during such a crucial time in your life.

****If there's anything I can do to support you in achieving your goals, please let me know! I'll even give you my personal email address because that's how strongly I feel about helping you! It's heatherbrower@hotmail.com Please write to me! ****

“It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.” - Edmund Hillary

“When you do nothing, you feel overwhelmed and powerless. But when you get involved, you feel the sense of hope and accomplishment that comes from knowing you are working to make things better.” - Unknown

“All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts” - James Allen

“Do something wonderful, people may imitate it.” - Albert Schweitzer

NUTRITION LABEL READER TO THE RESCUE!!

I had the neatest experience at the grocery store on Sunday! We were standing in the pasta aisle and I had two boxes of whole wheat pasta in my hands trying to determine which brand had the best nutritional value. A woman was standing there as well and she seemed to be perplexed about the pasta. She kept looking at me then she would look back at her box of pasta. Sure enough she confesses to the whole pasta aisle that she doesn't know how to read a nutritional label. (cue the music: "here I come to save the daaaaay!") I came to her rescue! I told her that I know how to read a nutritional label and I proceeded to explain to her what to look for in whole wheat pasta as well as other store products. How cool! We stood there for a few minutes, blocking the entire pasta aisle so no one could pass by us. I'm sure people were pissed off at us, but hey...this was an extremely important, life-changing lesson for this woman! ;) As she made her pasta selection, I quickly reminded her to have a protein with the pasta. My bad...I didn't specify that she should have a LEAN protein because she proceeded to tell me that she has sausage at home which she'll happily add to the pasta. (sigh) Well....baby steps! I was just so happy to be there to help her!! It was the best feeling! :)

IS THERE A SILVER LINING WITH PNEUMONIA?

Apparently so! Although it's not the healthiest way to lose weight, I've lost another 10 pounds just from being sick with pneumonia. It's not that I didn't eat - I certainly did! I just had no energy to make anything substantial so I would elect to have yogurt with berries or peanut butter on whole wheat or pistachios and even Kashi cereal with milk. But that was the extent of my food intake. Plus I slept a TON!

Granted, I'm confident I lost muscle weight and I can feel that especially in my arms and shoulders. I would imagine that would contribute to my weight loss recently.

HOWEVER - that brings my total to 30 pounds!! (yet to be confirmed on Chad's "official" scale...whenever I get back to the studio) That's nearly the size of my 3 1/2 year old daughter! I'm now seeing parts of the scale I haven't seen since Matt and I were engaged to be married. That was, gosh, 10 year ago? So it's exciting.

I just wish I could figure out a way to keep healthy while trying to manage all that life entails plus a difficult exercise routine and schedule. I've started to use the Dan Active probiotic drink and I'm considering some other alternatives plus I need to be more diligent about taking my vitamins! If anyone has any other ideas, PLEASE let me know!

POLYCYSTIC OVARIAN SYNDROME - A WEIGHTY SUBJECT

Before I catapult myself into a true, unsightly and overpowering pity-party about how frustrated I am with absolutely everything right now, I thought I would use this negative energy and channel it into something productive. Therefore, I am going to talk about something that I've been diagnosed with and have struggled with for over 15 years. I think it's important to talk about because so many women may have this syndrome but no one either a) speaks about it or b) knows anything about it!

It's called PCOS - Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Although the medical term sounds quite misleading (not everyone with PCOS has polycystic ovaries), it's a serious endocrine disorder with a host of serious consequences if not diagnosed and treated accordingly.

This endocrine disorder affects approximately 7% of all women. It occurs amongst all races and nationalities and is the most common hormonal disorder among women of reproductive age. And it's the leading cause of infertility. PCOS is an inherited disease.

Why discuss PCOS in a weight loss blog? Good question! While the causes are unknown, insulin resistance, diabetes and obesity are all strongly correlated with PCOS. Therefore, not only am I battling my body over losing weight and becoming healthy in general, I also struggle within the confines of PCOS which makes the journey a little more difficult to climb...and more frustrating! Once you read further about the syndrome, I think you'll understand better why losing weight and becoming healthy is an even MORE important goal for me, my future health and my family due to the serious risk factors I will likely face as I grow older.

What are the symptoms? Another excellent question! :)Irregular, few or absent menstrual periods. Infertility usually due to lack of ovulation. Hirsutism. Hair loss. Acne. Obesity (one in two women with PCOS are obese). Depression. Polycystic ovaries. Hormonal imbalances.

Risk factors include: Heart disease risk factors of weight gain, cholesterol problems, high blood pressure, stroke, insulin resistance and diabetes. PCOS may also increase the risk of developing endometrial cancer. Miscarriage. Infertility. Depression.

Here are some startling facts:

• More than 50 percent of women with PCOS will have diabetes or pre-diabetes before the age of 40.
• Women with PCOS have 4 - 7 times higher risk of heart attack than women of the same age without PCOS.
• Women with PCOS are at greater risk for having high blood pressure.
• Women with PCOS have high levels of LDL (bad) cholesterol and low levels of HDL (good) cholesterol.
• Women with PCOS have a greater risk of getting endometrial cancer.
• Suicide attempts are 7 times more common in women with PCOS.

Here is a nerdy flow-chart about insulin resistance and PCOS.....


What is the treatment? Unfortunately...there is no cure for PCOS. It needs to be managed to prevent problems such as heart disease, stroke, diabetes and cancer. Some treatments involve birth control pills, diabetes medication, fertility medication, surgery and lifestyle modification.

Lifestyle modification includes keeping a healthy weight by eating healthy foods and exercising. Eat few processed foods and more whole-grain products, fruits, vegetables and lean meats to help lower blood sugar levels, improve the body's use of insulin and normalize hormone levels.



For more information on PCOS: PCO Support or Soul Cysters

ONE STEP UP AND TWO STEPS BACK.....

Ok...pity party ahead! LOL No, it's not a self-indulging whine but just a fact about life. It never seems to fail that something comes between you and your goal. I was making all the progress possible with my exercise and healthier eating. I had lost 18 lbs in 4 weeks, my diet couldn't have been much better and I was noticing major improvements in my strength, stamina and body shape over the course of the two months I've been working with Chad. It was exciting and thrilling! I wanted to share it with everyone! Wouldn't you?

Then I started to get run-down. First came the bronchitis and then came the pneumonia. I've been out of "real" workouts for the past 2-3 weeks, it seems. I'm scared to think that I'll be out of more workouts for the next 10 days or more. How frustrating!!!! I'm already noticing a loss in what I've gained in terms of my physical shape. I've lost muscle tone. I've lost momentum. I've lost stamina. BUT... what I've gained with my self-confidence, knowledge about nutrition and the absolute reality that I CAN lose weight and be healthy, I will NEVER lose.

I can't wait to get back to exercising again. I miss Chad and the friends I've made at Shaping Concepts. I worry they'll think I've dropped out and given up because I haven't! I want nothing more than to get back to the studio and continue with what we've started. I'm hopeful and anxious about returning to the gym.

I saw a cartoon recently that caught my eye. It so true about many things in life. You can either get yourself "PSYCHED UP" or "PSYCHED OUT" about lots of things. It really is a matter of choice, isn't it? You can follow self-pity, regret, frustration and depression down the path towards being psyched-out or you can look forward with a positive attitude about the future and what it will bring and get yourself psyched up about the prospects of better things. For me, even though I feel really crappy as I recover from this pneumonia, I'm psyched up about returning to many things...work, Chad, the studio, my renewed health...you name it!

I hope when you come to a similar choice in life - and we all will at some point - that you will keep looking forward with optimism about the future. It's a choice -- and one path I intend to take as often as I can! :)

POP QUIZ!!

It's been a while since we've had a pop quiz and what could be more appropriate than to have a quiz on pneumonia!!

After being delirious last night in between fits of sleeping and not sleeping, I decided that I had to see the doctor as soon as possible. She suspected I had pneumonia and took an x-ray to verify it...and I do have pneumonia in my left lower lung.

This x-ray isn't mine (lol) but it shows you what pneumonia looks like. Mine is on the opposite side by the heart.

This is a little embarrassing but when I was looking at the x-rays with the technician, I asked her about the two white mounds in the x-ray (See them? They are a little lopsided at the bottom of the x-ray?) I thought they were my breasts!!!!!!!!!!!! I gasped and thought...Good Lord! What happened to my breasts?! They've sagged on me! Is this what happens when you get older? Will working out fix that? I was so embarrassed! Yet come to find out, they are not my breasts...it's just organs. Phew!!!!!!!!

Ok, so here is the quiz on pneumonia. Let's see how well you can do on it!

1. How do people catch pneumonia?

a. By touching grocery carts at Kroger.
b. By kissing an infected person.
c. By someone who sneezes.
d. By biting your finger nails.

2. What is the 6th leading cause of death in the United States?

a. Heart disease
b. Breast cancer
c. Stroke
d. Pneumonia

3. Prior to the discovery of antibiotics, how many people who developed pneumonia subsequently died from the infection?

a. 100%
b. 99%
c. 25%
d. 33.33%

4. Pneumonia is a lung infection that can be caused by different types of microorganisms including...

a. bacteria
b. viruses
c. fungi
d. all of the above

5. Serious pneumonia can be life-threatening. When should you see a doctor right away?
(short essay answer) X________________

How did you do on the test? Here are the answers!

1. c Some cases of pneumonia are contracted by breathing in small droplets that contain the organisms that cause pneumonia. These droplets get into the air when a person infected with these germs coughs or sneezes.

2. d Pneumonia is the 6th leading cause of death in the United States.

3. d. One third of people diagnosed with pneumonia will die from it. (yikes! I better get my rest!)

4. all of the above

5. If you think you may have pneumonia, don't hesitate to get medical care. Serious pneumonia can be life-threatening. See your doctor right away if you have a persistent cough, shortness of breath, chest pain that fluctuates with your breathing (pleurisy), an unexplained fever — especially a lasting fever of 102 F or higher along with chills and sweats — or if you suddenly feel worse after a cold or the flu.

THANK YOU!

I just wanted to thank everyone who visits my blog! You all are amazing and I appreciate all your kind words whether posted on this blog, emailed to me or mentioned to me in person. Having your support is incredibly touching and motivating at the same time. Again...thank you!!!!

It's 3:20am and I can't sleep! (I'm trying to type quietly so I don't wake up Katie in the other room. She can sleep through just about anything we watch on TV - loud movies, exciting football games - yet for some reason she can hear my keyboard!) I can't sleep because I'm still very sick. I'm getting worse and it kind of scares me a bit. The doctor I want to see is available on Monday but I don't know if I can take another day of this. (It's Sunday)

My energy is really low. I don't even have the energy to shower! (ew!!) I'm forcing myself to eat something even though I have no appetite. I'm afraid to take a deep breath because a) it hurts and b) it'll throw me into a wild coughing fit. Plus I can't stand hearing the crackling sounds in my chest when I breathe. It's like when you add milk to your rice krispies in the mornings! That's what it sounds like. (ew!!) I can't remember the last time I was this sick.

I know I'm complaining. Sorry! But I need to sneak in one more complaint.... There's nothing on TV in the middle of the night. I'm flipping the channels and I have a overwhelming selection of shows to choose from:

1. Jack the Ripper
2. Pinky and the Brain
3. Truth or Scare
4. My Big Redneck Wedding
5. Foreclosure Secrets
6. Nurse TV
7. Scary Movie III

Maybe I should type a little louder on my keyboard. Playing with Katie at 3:30 in the morning is more entertaining than anything I could possibly find on TV! :)

I'm so frustrated and depressed about the fact that I keep getting sick! Maybe it's a coincidence but ever since I started exercising and eating healthy, I've been sick. How ironic, it seems, that I'm focusing so much on my health and yet my body keeps letting me down. For the past 3 weeks I've been fighting off an upper respiratory infection and I'm finally off the antibiotics...and now the fever is back and the cough is back to haunt me once again.

The upper respiratory infection and fever are preventing me from getting in a good workout...and when I do manage to put in a very strong one, I'm knocked down the next day once again.

Matt and I were discussing that every time I start a workout regimen I end up getting sick. It never fails! So I think I'll go see our family doctor and see what he suggests that I do. Repeatedly getting sick isn't helping me get fit nor is it helping me with anything else I have to do in my life. I have to get well so I can keep moving forward and making positive changes in my life.

Yes, I know. I shouldn't be complaining! If my biggest worry is the fact I have a flu bug then things can't be all that bad! In fact, I was just looking at photos of orphaned teenagers in Ukraine - one of which we sponsor, his name is Denis Remezov - and they've had an incredibly difficult life! Not only were they orphaned at a young age but once they "graduate" from their schooling in the orphanage they are placed out into the streets as 16 year old's to fend for themselves! Without intervention from the outside, most will become homeless, 10% will commit suicide by the time they are 18, 60% of the girls will end up in prostitution or sex slavery, 70% of boys will turn to a life of criminal activity and 27% will find work. Therefore sponsoring Denis and giving him an opportunity for 2 years of vocational schooling will hopefully keep him safe, he'll be able to afford a place to live, have a decent job and ultimately have a happy life! My point is.....keeping things in perspective really does help! It doesn't make the cough/fever go away any faster but it sure makes dealing with it a little bit easier.

I've been enjoying a few songs by Josh Groban while working from home today. No matter what's going on in your life, somehow he just makes you feel better! So here is a little playlist of Josh Groban!

WHAT DOES TWENTY POUNDS LOOK LIKE......??

The scale shows that I've now lost 20 lbs of fat off my body. 20 pounds! Exactly what does 20 lbs look like? Let me put it into perspective for you (and have a little fun while we're doing it!) :)

Nooooooooooo! Not this kind of 20 pounds! LOL


This karaoke machine weighs 20 pounds...
I had no idea I've been packing a karaoke machine on my body for so long!

This tuna I caught weighed 20 pounds...(and yes, I released it!)

This adorable giant rabbit weighs 20 pounds.
I soooooooooo want this rabbit! Isn't he just the cutest little thing ever?
Look at those fuzzy toes!

How about 20 pounds of beef jerky?
Can someone please post a comment as to WHY anyone
would eat beef jerky? X_______??

And finally, this is 20 pounds of sugar!!
On average, children eat 20 pounds of sugar in 6 weeks!...or so I'm told......

So I hope that gives you a better idea of what 20 pounds used to look like on my body!

I can't wait to post what 40 pounds...60 pounds and 100 pounds looks like as I continue this process of losing fat off my body!

:) me