Healthy Living Blog

It's becoming more difficult to be strong willed about eating healthy and exercising. It's all such an unbelievable struggle right now. My mind is becoming weaker about eating healthy and craving certain foods. I combat the mental weakness by not eating much at all so I can forget about food. I've lost 13 lbs and I don't want to give up.

The newness has worn off...it was bound to happen, I guess. I'm becoming tired of the same food choices yet I'm numb in the head about seeking out alternative choices for meals so I stick with the same types of food. I'm fighting with myself when it comes to exercising and if it wasn't for my appointments with Chad and my commitment to the sessions, I probably wouldn't be exercising right now. I wish I could do this for myself. I wish I could be committed to myself and push through all on my own. But I can't. I really need people's support and especially Chad's right now. I don't like relying on people so it's really difficult.

The climber in this photo expresses what it feels like to be me right now. He has three choices....keeping climbing, stay motionless or let go of the rope and fail at his ascent. Yeah, there are probably people beneath him who are cheering him on and encouraging him. But ultimately he's the one who has to pull himself up, keep moving on and finish what he started. There's really no looking back. If you pause for a moment and look up the mountain you realize how much further you have to climb. It seems daunting and impossible to achieve. But if you look down you realize how you can't go back to where you came from...for many reasons but most importantly you don't want to let people down.

I didn't eat well today. I hardly ate and when I did it was past the 3 hour mark. But I did exercise for 40 minutes and I haven't missed a workout session with Chad. But I feel myself slipping and I don't want to fall nor do I want to fail. I'll keep fighting through it. I hope it's a normal phase of this process. It's the loneliest so far!!