Healthy Living Blog

Just when you think everything is going well, it doesn't take much to throw you off and send you reeling to the ground. Is it shocking when this happens? It shouldn't be. None of us are perfect and to think otherwise is ludicrous. Then why is it so difficult to admit imperfection and why is it filled with so much shame? I have no idea. Maybe it's a sense of vulnerability that we try to mask in our every day lives by seeking perfection in everything we do. Maybe it's a misconception that we should hide our weaknesses in order to prove to others that we're strong, competent and can prevail under any circumstances. I'm not really sure! But in the end what I do know is that we're all perfectly imperfect - inside and out. The sooner we learn to accept this about ourselves, our lives, of others and the world as a whole, the better off we'll all be!

Katie was given permission to drink from a glass in the living room yesterday. It's something we often don't allow but made it clear that she was to be careful in handling her glass. She understood the risks involved (spilling her drink, potentially making us angry, etc.) and proceeded to drink from her glass very carefully. Naturally, she ended up spilling her drink all over the carpet. Was that a surprise? No. Should she be ashamed for spilling her drink? Absolutely not. Can she take the necessary steps to correct the behavior and move on? Definitely! Can she??...or will the fear and embarrassment hold her back? I reassured Katie that it's natural to make a mistake and I'm not angry with her. Together we cleaned up the carpet and I told her that she's not perfect and I don't expect her to be. We discussed steps she could take in the future to minimize the risk of spilling her drink and we came up with a "plan" to avoid it in the future.

What I'm trying to say is that I'm not perfect and I hope no one else expects me to be. Openly admitting that takes a lot of pressure off my shoulders. It is awfully hard work to attempt to be perfect!!! I'll make mistakes, I'll have bad moments in exercising and eating, I'll want to quit and I'll definitely cry (a lot!) but in the end I'm just like everyone else who struggles to reach a goal. Such achievements aren't meant to be easy and we'll all travel different paths to get there. Yet it's the process of getting there that holds the most powerful insights! It's learning how to reformulate the plan, make adjustments and accommodations for potential mistakes and future disappointments and discover ways to avoid them or counteract them. Just like Katie and the spilled drink, I can take similar advice and learn from the situation with the guidance and understanding that none of us are perfect...and in fact, it's almost expected that we'll find moments of failure and weakness despite all our best efforts to do otherwise! But without those precious moments of failure and frustrations, we'll never learn about ourselves at a richer, deeper level of awareness and insight on our way to becoming successful in achieving our goals. Whether it's a glass of spilled drink on an already dirty living room carpet or the setback of losing weight and becoming healthy - the choice is ours to decide how to circumvent and overcome those moments in the future....without the guilt and without the shame of not being perfect.

• "The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection" George Orwell

• "Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person." Dr. David M. Burns

• "I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God's business." Michael J Fox