Healthy Living Blog

Ok...so I think I've answered my own questions!

1. Honesty is never the best policy when it comes to pain.
2. I'll always wish I could take back my honesty with Chad about being sore.
3. It was a few hours ago that I wished training was over before it began.
4. It's not normal to seek pain. ;)


You know, why wait until you get home to cry when you can cry right in Chad's parking lot?! Next thing you know I'll be crying on the treadmill before I leave! I cried all the way home and sat in a cul-de-sac in my neighborhood and cried even longer!

Today was probably the most difficult work-out yet thus part of the reason for crying. Granted I've only had THREE but this one tops them all by far. It was humbling and frustrating at the same time. Humbling because I quickly realized the limits of my physical abilities. Growing up I could withstand a lot of physical trials and excel at most sports so it's difficult to face the fact that I've let my body go for so long and it's a huge journey to get it back to a place where I can be proud of my body and my abilities once again. Also, it was frustrating for many reasons! Frustration with my body. Frustration with myself for letting my weight and health go for so long. Frustration with Chad (which isn't his fault!) for giving me a wicked work-out today. I was just plain angry and I hardly ever get mad. But Chad said to use that anger to motivate me and that really helped.

I swear, I never would have completed all the circuits if Chad wasn't right there helping me and encouraging me. He has WAY more faith in me than I could ever have for myself and it's reassuring to know that he's seen many people in my position get healthy and lose weight. And he knows I can do it too.

Also, to top things off, Chad had his mirrors installed on the walls of his new studio today. I hate mirrors!! I avoid full body mirrors at all costs. I feel so ashamed when I see myself in the mirror because I'm so overweight and ugly. I can't wait for the day when I can look in a mirror and love what I see. When that happens - I'll know I've made it and reached my goals!

But on a positive note I can really feel the positive effects on my body. Even though I'm in a lot of pain that is only temporary and it'll get better over time. I feel so fortunate to have such caring people in my life!!! My husband who is working extra hard around the house so I can focus on my health goals, my family who will be supporting me financially so I can continue Chad's program for the entire calendar year and always support me emotionally, my brother Todd for being understanding about my work both at the office and at Chad's studio, my friends who post messages on my blog to support me...from here to New Zealand!! Plus I feel extremely grateful for Chad. He's a true life saver and it's obvious he cares about his clients. Plus he's giving me and my family the biggest gift ever - and that's a longer, healthier and happier life (God willing!). I can't think of a better gift! :)

Goodnight and thanks, Chad, for a difficult workout. (you didn't think I'd thank you so soon, huh??)